i kept myself occupied in the kitchen to cook my dinner ,
however this time round my egg is burnt till the 2nd time then i succeed.
fried egg with onion and fried beehoon shld be nice enough for me to eat ..
but i jus couldnt eat it .. i felt so moodless ..
i was now thinking abt if one day i went back to malaysia ,
disappear from s'pore will anyone miss me ?
bother about me ?
miss my noisy voice ?
my attitudes ?
my rants ?
i hadnt been a great friend , im sorry my friends .
neither had i been a good lover , im always contracdicting ,
im always fickle minded ..
and now im real tired can anyone jus tell me how to go on ?
im stuck . im not good in everything ,
studies too. why is this all happening ?
all this came across to me when i was alone at home
and alll these came popping out,
someone said , " you had alot of friends but is your attitude that drives them away "
tell me how can i change ? im tired.
i want be a good friend ,
good lover , good student
but aint ppl saying , live with imperfections ?
is jus so messed up , i dont want all those to happens ,
isit a curse that we are meant not to talk till 1week ?
in 1week we can only talk a few days of happiness and ended up with disagreement ,
is like a continuos happening .. why is this so ?
i think is time for me to accept the fact that we will never be ,
never..N-E-V-E-R .
it doesnt have to wait long now i felt that we no longer can be back to past ...
i dont know im in mess i jus wants to cry all out , im hungry but i couldnt eat anything down.
im tired but i cant get to sleep ...
i want everything thats lost to be back , why will i lost those ?
is so important to me ..
im jus typing on out how i felt , i feel so tired .
am i thinking too much ? but all these jus pop into my head naturally ..
why am i always crying , where is the me that used to laughs alot ?
i dont know .. i myself dont even knw whoelse knows ?
i couldnt be that strong girl that i was once , that you guys thought to be ..
all i know is to cry and cry and cry ..
im dumb , im foolish , im jus a idiot
IN
EVERYTHING.
& yes life still got to go on ...whatsmore i can do ?
theres one question i would like to ask all my friend ,
WHAT AM I TO YOU GUYS ? GREAT OR SUCKERS ?
i need some feedbacks to know whats wrong , whats wrong with myself , my character .
im slow , im dumb , im idiot , im always being commented , im attitude ,
such and such ... say it out now to me pls , i need a change .
i dont wants to lead my life on aimlessly ):
Labels: but im not the only for you., you're the only one for me