gave training a miss and actually wanted to buy bag with mum ,
in th end , mum dua me -.-
think back for training , i feel so ...
all coach do is despise me , maybe th way he teach is to correct us and push us ,
but for me it dont work .. in fact i felt more tired and tired ..
im turning officially 15 by nov , tornament on MARCH ,
does it mean i still can play ? or i couldnt ? i dont know ...
maybe all along for th 1yr plus of playing bball , im jus a weak ass ,
whom is useless and not even qualified for c div ..
th sec 1s are real great , their determination and their learning ,
is fast and correct , unlike me ..
always so slow .. is not something i want but i dont know why ... did any wire of my brain plug
to the wrong side ? or im jus not fit for basketball ..
i've been doubting myself comments for myself either from coach or others
have been gradually proving me like hey " you're a Loser of basketball "
and im jus a pentimun 1 indeed ... i dont know what to do ,
it seems like whatever im doing now or leading jus dont went well ,
isit my attitude in learning or my brain problems ?
or whatever i dont know ... i hate myself .
why im always th one being laughed at , th one being commented badly ..
why ? when can i really wake up and be someone useful ,
CHAI PEI EN ! WAKE UPPPP ...!
i want be someone useful but it seems to be like a journey to mount fuji ,
so tall , so high , so far ):
im getting more and more tired , have been telling myself not to give up ,
but it jus seems like nothing changes even my hardwork or seriousness ..
i dont get it , coach says my seriousness is in brain but not action ,
maybe im really a retard , hand and leg couldnt operate ..
maybe , just maybe ,
i shld really give up . . . i want number 12 jersey , alotalot ...
im DESPERATE FOR IT & i want get it with my own skills ..
but it seems like i couldnt and .. i felt so T.T
can any kind souls tell me what to do now ? i dont know ...
i want stamina ):
I WANT NUMBER 12 JERSEY OF COMPASSVALE THIS YEAR ,
this time it aint a joke , im serious I NEED NUMBER 12
IM DESPO FOR IT !
Labels: failure ...