i asked myself whywhywhy ,
over and over again . how i wish i was thinking too mch,
but i know clearly well , im not ...
i wna things to stay on like how it was recently ,
but.. it seems to be playing back once again &
tears started to roll down once again like how it used to be...
ytd just sucks . internet connection got problem ,
calling my cousin to wake up and help me fix , he shout so loud ,
as though i want his life and my uncle and aunties trying to be oblivious abt whats happening.
wtf isnt it ? nvm i manage to fix it this morning ..
ytd was jus now my day ..):
asking myself all over again about why and how ..
but it seems like theres no outcomes...

crying out frantically for you in th lonely night ,
where were you ? ...
did you even know how much you meant to me ?
...missess..

what a weather . . .
looking at th weather , is jus somehow like my mood now..
schl was boring , except for p.e .
after schl shuqing mum drove me and joyce to rivervale plaza.
hahah thnks & shuqing's mum is funfun la haha.
was having a heart-to-heart talk with sweetheart ,
well she still th one , nver fails to make me open whats hidden in my heart :D
loves you laaaarh haha!
saw sheila , sweetheart went off
& chatted with sheila ,
& theres this bunch of uncivilise ppl calling out ppl names-.-
oh just freeaking hell , fish off alrights , bunch of jerks .
walked home , saw my uncle .
he gave me a umbrella when i told him not to ,
took it but i didnt used it except when im waiting th traffic lights to cross th roads ,
then walk under th rain alr , kind of stupid i know..
arggh.. whatever i just wna go sleep ,
im veryveryvery vexed , confused , moody..and alot more ):

will it be another deeper fall this time ?
or would it be like th song of avril lagine ; happy ending , i guess not .
whats th problem with this , is not what i want ...

Labels: it seems so unrealistic. .

shagggggg ..

training was usual , went cc later on.
haha seen my idol :] .
& schl today sucks totally,
class & lessons is boring and sleepy , yet today's tcher all is cannot sleep one ,
plus fierce one -.- still need do alot of work ! zz..
and stupid javon make me need write a report and reflection of 200words.
wtf , ytd alr nothing liao , he still keep irritate me by smiling and worst ,
make funny faces at me -.-
i already never look at him man ,
then th whole class once again starts jeering at him
& clement started using th environment free stickypad to stick onto his chair.
zzz.. dumb . then he still keep laugh at me and ,
an eye for an eye so i wrote " i love my fatty acids and glycerol in my body & oil is my daily tibit"
hahahahaha.& i paste on his chair !
but im kind ok i draw alr , i see tcher come in jitao threw it away .
after lesson still kana-.- whatever , im so not going to do th report man,
is either i tmr then do or i not going to do.
damn tiring now .. going to sleep .
& is another day , which i skipped my dinner ..

deep & meaningless ,
it seems like whats broken can never went back to its original shape.
confused...

Labels: go on like this.

i dont owe you any single thing alright ,
take it or leave it just fuck off.
& yes javon lee , dont you think you are finding troubles to yourself ?
when i said stop your jiao bin you still want come make me ?
fine now , discipline case , we shall see who win man.
you sucks , just freaking hell get away from me man.
training tmr and i wonder how would it be ?
mum aint at home , away for so many days , room is messy like shit -.-
i hate home ):
life sucks except of lil bit of happiness and colours filling my life :D
till here and bye ,
bless me for tmr !

roaaaarh !
so boring right now , currently using schl dont know call what MSI lappy -.-
and is use to search phythagoras dontknw what shit ass thing .
still can blast music in class haha.
so shag nowadays , luckily today no training orelse i will die man .
ok need to go find info alr , byebye !
update more later go home:)
and im damm pissed off man , esp by th retard in my class-.-
act one cute give me jiao bin , JAVON LEE YOU SUCKS DICK LAH DEY !
okok really got to go alr now 12 liao . 12.20pm must finish ):

Labels: is ok and im satisfied :)

Currently im happy but somehow and somewhat im vexed .
just a simple day had past today , mum was away for m'sia ever since friday ,
and i doubt she will be returning in by this week due to my aunt's condition had worsen ?
morning was lucky cos ms teo let me run go buy tie dont have to stand up :)
well , thats all im tired and off to sleep.
i love ytd and today was damn pissed off ,
why must coach only see my bad points ? i dont know lah ):
after training was fun ok cos i saw zhanglang & jiajia too.
well they are really joker man , chatted at koufu tgt.
was talking abt zhanglang or jiajia who more pro haha ,
damn funny & i so awkward la haha .
i guess i just have to learn to be satisfied for what im having now .
No regrets & no doubts ,
it will last till th very last moment .
if we're fated to be tgt i guess we'll meet again
& is just all revolves around fate , so yea goodbye to 11:)

Labels: future is a mystery

hey dudes ! :)
crosscountry was a shag one ytd.
but well im very satisfied .
went over for SL , quarrel with some inconsiderate jerks.
cant he just have more confidence with th class ? -.-
went ate at kopitiam & headed for cc.
bballed all th way till night ,
ate and mum wasnt at home , due to boring ,
decided to walk around sengkang area, walk till leg pain lols.
homed around 11pm.
this few days i must really suffer poverty( dont know how spell )
cos mum actually thought she sunday coming out yet ,
postphone to tues due to my aunt's condition aint improving ,
well my aunt is in hospital but so far is what i know is she cant walk .
anw , i left 20$ for th next 3days ):
ok gtg alr , kind of couldnt sleep today ,
keep waking up at alternatively
& couldnt really sleep.
till here , byebyes , wont be blogging so often alr ,
packed schedule and shag life ! sec 2 aint as easy as i thought.

im not waiting , im just loving someone whom wil never love me ,
i knows . & all i deserve is to look at you from far ,
as a stranger , i tried to give up ,
but im sorry i couldnt and im alr too tired to try.

wtf crosscountry tmr and i couldnt sleep ?
-.- is alr 1am gng 2am . mind going through whats happening today ,
and i feel so... whatever , is not what words could represent.
and grats girl for wining against NCHS ,
ok nothing great for myself i didnt even score-.-
just a bench player or shld i say ... dont feel like going on anymore abt this topic.

and went over 260 , played.
before that i received a news and wtffff la ):
well , no choice is fated.
ate , lights off , play bullet on 2points
& slack with that sotong huiyee awhile ,
so yea right here im home blogging.

I CANNOT SLEEP.
I CANNOT SLEEEP.
I CANNOTCANNOT SLEEP .
WEIRD THINGS RUNNING THROUGH MY MIND NOW.
I CANNOT SLEEP.
I CANNOOOOOOT SLEEEEEEEP .
ARGGGGGGGGGGGH ..
OK , DIEDIE I JUST GTG TO MY BED NOW ,
DO PUMPING , SITUPS ,STRECTHING OR WHATEVER ,
JUST TO MAKE MYSELF TO SLEEP .
BYEBYE !

th absence of you makes today a boring day
& a overall bad day for me .
i miss you , humans are all greedy ,
so am i .

Sun burn ! Sun burn ! Sun burn !

ok tiring day with lots of things happening ,
got happy , sad , and ... dont know lol.
bballed with teamates at 260 for self-training ,
and whats th problem with th weather so damn freaking hot ,
now not only my lips brk , my face also kana sun burn lol.
but is damnnn fun today , is been long since we played ,
or i gues is that i've miss alot of training cos last week sick ? lols.
then went over to cc awhile ,
and kinda couldnt regconise jizong ? lol.
saw alot of familiar faces.
before going off played with peiqi , ahteng and sabrina .
funfun :)
ok nothing much later on , got to rush for homework ,
bye .

high and elated :)

Labels: different cases, different views., everyone can have their on view on th same thing

Back from leadership camppppp :)

actually before i came blogging ,
i've been thinking , how should i blog ?
LOL , but theres no ans because halfway ,
i drop dead to my lala land and slept from 6plus till 8plus.
& yes th camp was great , in fact a brand new experience for me !
before i countinue , i kinda wanted to say this camp is damn enjoyable one,
tgt witht th companion of Joyce ,Liying,Shuqing & Vivian chuaaaaa !

Day 1 :
prepared met sweetheart &
went took bus , was kinda late but nvm haha.
then headed to th YOG centre , is kinda boring in th begining ,
but th game is nice :) & we won th olympic ring haha !
followed by it was dinner , haha is kinda delicious one ,
i guess is because we were all very hungry ? lols.
then theres lecture and movie . kinda boring for th lecture ,
but still manage to pay attention to it & th movie is waterboys ,
which i find that i've watched it during primary school , but just couldnt remember.
supper and went back to bunks ,
all th 5 of us didnt really sleep till 1am going 2am ,
was busy chatting and laughing away hahah !
kinda memoriable night ever &
me & liying just notice being friends for years , thats th first camp we get so close
cos th previous camp we didnt really like sleep tgt in th same bunk haha.
fall asleep kinda fast for me too during th first night ,
but i gotta damn weird dream which stunt me too.

Day 2:
was superduperuber tired ,
and damn our bunks people woke up around 6am going 6.30am ,
kinda live up to th name of singaporeans "kiasu"
cos we actually going assemble only on 7.30am -.-
LOL. then make me cant fall asleep alr ,
because during th morning when i woke up , its damn hard for me to sleep back -.-
then had morning stretching and games which is like hell to me
cos my stomach is alr calling for " fooood !"
&finally breakfast is here ,
ok i ate 2burgers :x
if th mayonese more it will be nicer man ! LOL.
went back to resource room for briefing in proj ,
and we get triathlon ! damn diff one ,
when having th booth thing , kinda disappointed one ,
shallnt say anymore .
then lunch time , dint ate much cos i dont really like friedrice ,
so theres games, which is water activities-.-
is damnnnnn shiok but kinda bad one for me cos i dont have extra shorts !
luckily it dries fast and wth ,
th 4of us get very wet except for shuqingggggg !
she just partially which is like only a big spot on her shirt which is like so insignificant la !
hahaah . then they still tell us sit on th grasspatch to do reflection ,
obviously we know is water coming from behind , luckily i covered my shoe ,
& vivian and me was damn nervous there lols hahaha funny !
& thats jus th begining man-.-
later on theres this photo taking session and water comes from infront ,
luckily i push liying down then i hide behind her ,
but i still got th water on my hair-.- zzz..
nxt was crossroads ,
kinda fun one cos like finally th group seems enthu abit and contributing haha ,
& i saw alot of people , begining when i step out of th school going to rivervale mall ,
i saw baodung , went in i saw weichong and thnks for treating me eat takoyaki !
then nxt was choong wen jun that asshole baby of mine ! haha ,
but still gotta thnk her for th photo information ok :) miss you dearest !
split up and luckily those places is around rm and rp ,
so we kinda got alot & went kfc i saw ben liang ,
damn ass he said to lend me th doraemon till th nxt time we meet then return him ,
in th end when i went back kfc to find azimah , he took it back )': !
nvm i shall get myself a doraemon keychain hahaha !
then went back schl , washup
& movieeee , haah th movie is nice ok !
though they skip alot due to insufficient of time and too long on th lecture which makes me sleep! and i rmb th phrase :
is better to make a fool of your life then leading a worthless life .
roughly , and i find meaningful ! haha.
supper and lights out time ,
was busy taking photos and
yesyesyes ! im damn elated because at least i finally have 2photos of me and shuqing !
though one is liying secretly taken when me and her was taking photo
and another one her eye close ,
but nvm is better than nothing ! hahaha .
and theres a candid photo which was damn nice of hers la ,
if you guys dont know , will think is computer effect one LOL!
hopefully i can get to take a 3rd and proper foto with shuqinggg haha !
is kinda difficult night for me cos i couldnt sleep ,
and again weird thing flash into my mind zzz.. irritating !
veryveryvery diff then fall asleep ,
suddenly i woke up just because my big buisiness call -.-
went back and took me 1hr to fall asleeep please ,
1HOUR ! omg -.- actually is short alr cos i've tried couldnt sleep for 3hours plus ,
sitting on th bed turn here and there , sit here sit there & exercise ..kinda stupid but is real ! LOL !
Day 3 , TODAYYYY :D!
then my lips is super pain ytd night , morning is like sausage like that ,
damn red -.- then have morning games again.
& same my stomach damn hungry lol.
breakfast was really a heavy one yet nice !
briefing againnn so tiring and i fall asleep :x
game was next and is fun , though we got last ,
but when th other teams finished we were given choice to choose stop th game ,
or continue and yes we continue with our perseverance & so ,
we won ! hahaha.
area cleaning , very slack lol.
& nxt was damn sad la ,
i would like to say being in th camp for 3days ,
today i experienced servant leadership & i sure im gna do it one day ,
this aim will be something i will lead for th rest of my life , i swear.
you guys know what ?
counsellers , sec3s actually helped us wash our feet .
is outrageous isnt it ? but yes they did it &
you guys rocks man .
& in fact we teared , i felt that theres none in this world is heartless ,
because shuqing cried too &
partly is because th song la ! they played th " you raise me up "
somemore 2 times ! & joyce is so influential because when she teared ,
2nd was me , i was actually alr controlling but seeing her cry ,
my tears came down and followed by vivian & liying.
shuqing actually controlled her tears haha.
& thnks adeline & li yen ,
stupid adeline make me feel so what la ,
told her to roughly clean still clean till very detail and wen rou !
but still a great thnks to you guys .
whats worst was when th leadership trainer mr chua give his speech
specially on th part saying actually our mother is doing servant leader to us everyday ,
cooking , doing house chores . . . that was th part i cry alot
& i felt regret , for that moment , th first time i felt so regretful
because i remember th night before th leadership camp , i showed attitude to my mum
just because of my head was still pain ,
infact that night i couldnt sleep , actually i feel weird because ,
everytime when it comes to night time my moodswing is damn serious ,
in fact i can even cry for no reasons , i remember th first night of th camp i was like tt too ,
luckily i've th rest 4 of my beloved ones to chat with :)
like for now , i think i only spoken to my mum 4-5times from 9pm ,
till now 11.22pm. zzz..
ok back to topic , so we did survey & took our prizes ,
off we headed to eat at kfc tgt with sq , joyce and vian.
went skcc awhile then joyce say she wants go home ,
so went home tgt with joyce &vivian ,while shuqing went home later on .
haha, im damn happy cos i got th magazine of th 2main actors of
"it starts with a kiss" , which is th show i mentioned previously
& it left th LAST PIECE ! hohoho , credits to vivian chua ! haha.
once i reached home i felt super uneasy cos they moved th furni ONCE AGAIN .
this time including my room . -.-
just got to bear with it i guess .
bathed and read th mag ,
halfway i fall asleep lols !
ok , is now 11.27pm ,
& im going to either watch show or sleep cos ,
i still feel very tired after taking a nap of 2plus hours .
LOL.

there isnt much affinity between you & me to meet ,
maybe i should currently focus on other things than you,
& i clearly knows you're hardly able to be replace . . .
stop your pace of life ,
look back and ask ,
whats missing in your life & what you really gotta do to make your life
more meaningful and essential.
let it be something you'll be proud of when you are old ,
let it be meaningful and unfrogettable when you look back these days you're leading now.
not to be sad for what you got and what you've lost ,
cos time will nvr travel back & just be lucky that you once have it.
everything you got is everything that deserves for you
cherish whats you having after on &
nvr let history replay once again.

Labels: i wonder whats th reason my heart tells me to wait

just another simple day w.o schooling .
ok i've miss 2weeks of wed &thurs lesson .
boreeeeeeeed like shit ,
simply eat , take medicine & sleep , same routine ,
but well im not a sleeping queen , so other than that ,
i've finally finish watching my 恶作剧2吻 which is a 2nd part of 恶作剧之吻
but i dint watch 恶作剧之吻 then skipped to th 2nd part cos in th begining i didnt even know there is first and 2nd part -.- but nvm i'll complete 恶作剧之吻
when i've got th time cos is 31 episodes ! luckily 恶作剧2吻 only 20epi !
-.-

ok kinda boring part for those who nvr watch ,
but well go catch it is super nice ,
roughly is saying abt there is this simple minded girl who aint intelligent at all ,
but she is damn brave because she dare to tell a guy she've been in love for 2yrs that she likes
him . in th end , she become th laughing stock of th whole schl due to being rejected .
but she didnt give up !
which is actually very lil girl will do isnt it ?
this simple minded of hers which only wants to get this IQ 200 yet cold-blooded guy to like her ,
makes her goes all th way and finally touched the guy to marry with her !
well begining they seems to have some communication problem ,
but gradually through ups and downs they become a very loving couple ,
& even they married , this girl is still veryvery in love with this guy ,
in fact she do whatever she can to be with this guy like ,
she try veryvery hard to be a nurse so that she could work with her husband who is a doctor .
imagine someone who aint great in studies ,
who all along didnt concentrate and think abt her future ,
out of a sudden she got to re-study and go back to th starting point of
studying on th course of nursing & succeeded !
great isnt it ? & yes this is th power of love .
& this girl in th show , is someone whom i think we should learn from ,
this simple mind of her ,
going through all th obstacles through great determination
i guess this goes along with th saying;
happiness is something we must achieve on our own .
:)

if i can be like this girl ,
having this simple thinking , great determination & dont care how other looks on me ,
it will be great isnt it ? so what if being simple-minded yet stupid ?
well everything can start from learning right ?
after watching this show , i fins that i've been too sensitive on what others comment to me ,
& is time to ignore those stupid comments and prove them wrong .
i remembered this sentence said by th girl in th show(translated from chinese) ;
im born to be more slow and stupid than others ,
so i must work double hard .


haha , this time i've really learn alot from this show ,
and compared to those taiwan shows i watched , this show is th best so far
& im getting more&more in love with th life of taiwan ! :D
hmm , gtg prepare my leadership camp stuffs alr
& yes im recoveringggggg ;D !

i guess i just got to work harder to get your love ,
or maybe is fated that i'll meet you but
not fated that you're th person whom will walk with me in th path of my future life.
27nov08 , i'll nvr forget .

just came back from schl -.-
didnt attend schl ytd ,
instead of attending schl , went see doctor & was given 2days of MC .
but today i insist of attending schl because i rmb coach says ,
there will be friendly match on today ..
but ..i just couldnt stand my headache ..
in fact coach didnt tell us about who our opponent is ,
so i guess is selection for our c-div match ?
but well im so lucky to be sick on today ,
what can i say ? who can i blame ?
myself . for being sucha sicko and weak ass .
whats happen is happened .
till here , i shall go sleep so stop thinking all this .
& now i know actually headache , aches of back
is th effect of flu . lols.
my leg is feeling veryvery numb now . hais.

just a look of yours ,
could make me go crazy .
just you , having you, could makes me feel satisfied ,
as though im th world happiest girl .
but heaven just dont seems to want me be th world happiest girl . . .
it all lies in fate & im totally lost in this word ...

Labels: all i want know is to have a shoulder to lean on

dont feel like saying abt today ,
anw is just schling & training though im sick .
& fcuk during lesson my head was pain like hell , if can
i really wish i can pull this head off ,
ok i shallnt elaborate much cos only me myself knows how it feels.
after training went bballed & homed arnd 8plus going 9pm

i've no mood for homeworks neither talks on phone ,
my head is very pain , my mood isnt good
& my day today wasnt good till where though i saw "*"
but when going off i heard soemthing , yet i couldnt confirm it cos i was on phone with someone .
ok i dont feel like posting alr ... my head is FUCKING pain ,
can someone just hit my head hard to make me faint ?

theres only for me to be envious
what i can do is asking myself , whywhywhy . . .
& th ans i get is wait&wait&wait . . .
im veryvery sick of waiting . . .
271108 , 2mths 6days . . .

Labels: my headache is getting me pissed _l_

life is like fuck ?
ok is better to accept it , adapt it instead of complaining yea ?
so yea im trying .

just finished my work ,
my revision , homework & some work for th class thing .
i find that i just got to kick off my stupid habit of having th attitude in homework
such as ; ANYHOW DO ,LAZY DO , RANTING SO MUCH YET DO NOTHING
& ALOT MORE MAN !-.-
w.o all these i completed all my homework now , SATISFIED TILLLLL ,
dont -know-how -explain hahahaha !
worst of all when doing all these homeworks ,
im suffering from headache and my irritating flu suddenly acts up.
but i still manage to finish ! high man !
i think i got to sleep alr ,
cos my head very giddy now ..zzz
goodnights peoples !

oh man ,
bitches nowadays are everywhere !
but what i've seen today , they just got to learn how to gossip ppl w.o letting ppl know,
cos i caught them red-handed ! LAUGHS !
& whats th problem with their mind man ,
they knows who th person like , yet they gossip about th person with ANOTHER guy -,-
fucktard _l_
but i shall listen to what crab says
" mouth is theirs you also cannot do anything right ? "
another one :
" and ignorance is bliss , sometimes "
so yes crab be honoured i post what you says up here haha !