quarrels , quarreeels , quareeeeells _l_

have a bigbig quarrels with my mum and dad ,
& i can say this th worst quarrels ever .
th topic is my hair .
first , is the fact that my auntie lied to me that she say she will only be cutting SOME of th split end while she isnt cause a hair that is longer than shoulder length ,
has now become JUST REACH SHOULDER LENGTH HAIR
2nd , is th fact that for helping my mum save money here ,
i listened to her and went back to rebond yet now i get this result of split end and curl .
3rd , is also a fact that she shld let me have treatment for those split end .
& she refused in fact , she act as though she is some pros in th house ,
saying that she wld help me do by buying those cream.
for goodness sake , she just simply thought that it wld be so easy -.-
as though she got whatever supermagic cream ?
whatever it is , i feel so fcuked up now .
& yah my wrong , everything my wrong .
happy ?!
sometimes , have some thought of whatever im having for now ,
i feel that i deserved it .
because im just too DUMB AND STUPID .
dumb to believe in my auntie .
dumb to be so naive .
dumb to listened to my mum.
stupidstupidstupid _l_
is either now or past ,
im just always so stupid ,
im still always th one to GIVE IN AND TAKE BACK NOTHING BUT TEARS .
im still always th one to feel ENVIOUS BUT NOT HAVING .
im still always th one who always COULDNT GO ON HER OWN WAYS .
im still always the NAIVE AND WISHFUL THINKING IDIOTIC FUCKTARD.
& yah this so stupid me and deserved whatever i've till today ,
regrets , tears , not being able to find a listening ear when i needed , useless ,failure ,
. . . i hate to be strong and cheerful when im not
& i hate to act oblivious when im not ,
hate to escape from truth and hurts
& fcuk I HATE MYSELF _l_
a fcuking night ,
a sleepless night ,
am i being too pessimistic or too over reactive ,
i dont know but now i know i hate myself and i knw im stupid idiot.